Journey to Healthy: GAPS so far

So as many of you know, we have been on a quest that I have labeled: Journey to Healthy with my family. You can read the beginning of our journey here:
Journey to Healthy: Starting GAPS
Journey to Healthy: How Will I Have Time for GAPS?

As you have read in my previous posts, our journey has been 5 long years of praying and waiting upon the Lord for answers. Through our journey I have cried and prayed over other children and families that have similar stories too. So... you are wondering... how are things going?

FANTASTIC!
AMAZING!
INCREDIBLE!
Our family has been TRANSFORMED!

GAPS so far

L being silly with Aunt Abby!

So... let's start with my 5 year old daughter. The process has been slow with her. We eat soup once a day with homemade meat broth from antibiotic free and/or grass fed meats. She initially hated having soup that much, but she has grown accustomed to it. She was such a picky eater so that took some getting used to. It really helped that our family was doing most of the diet together. I don't cook separate meals so she doesn't feel left out most of the time and when she does... she knows that Mimi and Mommy can't have it either! She has lost 2 lbs. over all and she lost it right away. I am guessing it was literally die off from the bacteria because she hasn't lost any since that first two weeks.

Currently her allergist, pediatrician and GI specialist are all on board and excited about the results! She has been great with her tummy and we did discover that her reactions to processed sugars, especially high fructose corn syrup, have a DIRECT IMPACT on her behavior. We had to give her Benadryl about a month into the diet for several doses and it took about 4-5 days to get her back to a normal kid state. We are guessing there is an intolerance to red dyes as well, but she still reacts to the dye-free Benadryl.

September Family vacation to the beach

I was totally on board doing the diet with my daughter, but boy was I in for a surprise as to how much this diet would change my life! I have dropped 35-40 lbs since Aug 1!! That's about 4 months and most of that weight came off in the first 12 weeks! My body feels sooo good! I had NO IDEA how much my diet was playing into my energy level, mood, weight and chronic back pain. I thought that maybe my back was just enjoying the weight loss, but just last week I cheated on some gluten-free pretzels and a gluten-free cake for my youngest son's birthday. BAM! TERRIBLE PAIN in my back! (Thankfully I had some Deep Blue to help... more on that later!) I had a week of waiting out the pain and it slowly went away. So... no cheating for me.

You know one of my hesitations in doing the GAPS diet, and probably one of your reasons too, is the time it takes to prepare everything. Well... now 4 months in... it is pretty easy. I have been in a little bit of a rut now that I am also working (I KNOW... I'M CRAZY! More on that later too!) but it really becomes second nature. When I am in doubt I steam some veggies and grill some steak! Mmmm. And if I need a treat... smoothies are the ticket or some almond flour chocolate chip cookies. YUM!

I have also seen this turn around without adding any probiotic capsules and a limited amount of natural probiotics in my diet. I am just too afraid of the die-off going into my milk while nursing. Many people do, but with having a sensitive baby already... I am taking my time with it for sure.

So as you know I have made my own homemade laundry soap, baby wipes, cleaners... and now this journey to healthy with GAPS... it has given me a passion to share with all of you... everyone I talk to! So many of us are suffering physically and just don't know where to turn. I started a Facebook group called LUNK with my girlfriend Rebecca! It is LUNK: REAL LIVING without the JUNK! Follow us as we share all kinds of natural solutions for health and home.

So... have you read the book yet?
Have you been wondering if you need to try it?
I'd love to hear your stories or answer any questions!
Feel free to find us on Facebook or ask here in the comments!



**I have also found some great support for our family's health through doTERRA essential oils... but that is another post coming soon! This is where the Deep Blue came into our update.

**Read about our health prior to GAPS:
Our Unhealthy Past
My Journey to 80

My Journey to 80: He is There!

This is Part 4 of my series "My Journey to 80".
Read Part 1: The Beginning.
Read Part 2: After Pregnancy.
Read Part 3: Answered Prayer.

Corrie Ten Boom quote... such truth!

Surgery came.

You expect that when you go in for surgery that you will come out all fixed and feeling better. You know there will be healing time, but you expect to... well... heal.


I followed directions. I stayed mobile as best as I could. Some days I barely made it one trip around the kitchen table, but I eventually grew stronger. I didn't lift anything heavy for 8-10 weeks. It was hard, mind you that I had a four week old baby that needed fed and comforted. Still, I was very careful. The pain was never completely gone from my leg. There were a couple of times that I laid in fear wondering about the pain and why it was still there!! I remember eventually admitting to Ben that it just didn't feel fixed. I was terrified when I thought that the pain could come back again.

"I sought the LORD and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears." Psalm 34:4 (NASB) 

The doctor said it would just take time. In fact at my post-op appointment he basically scolded me for not having enough activity. What was I suppose to do? Push myself? It still hurt! Why did it still hurt? Oh...the fear...fear of the pain returning!

Time came and went. I went to physical therapy again! I made some progress, but I still had some pain. A new MRI was scheduled for December 2009.

The news??? My two disc herniations were just about the same size. Really?!?!?! A microdiscectomy and doing almost nothing...not even a load of laundry and another herniation in the same spot!!!

Devastation... shock... fear... How can this be?

I did some research and discovered that it was quite common.

They ordered another epidural shot. I hoped it would help more than last time. It actually hurt more for the few days after my shot. The epidural is a steroid shot, so I finally asked if I could just try an oral steroid pack. I wasn't going back for another shot after that. Plus, the shot was like $2,000!! 75 cents later...my steroids kicked in and I started to feel better. I was so relieved.

I will be honest. The fear was stronger than my faith at times. I wondered how I could carry another pregnancy... how I could ever work again... how I could take care of my family when I still couldn't fill the dishwasher or do a load of laundry or even put my baby in her crib.

I found new ways to do things. A new normal emerged. I started to live my life thankful for the blessings God had given me. I couldn't take anything for granted. When I sat Indian-style on the ground for the first time in over 2 years... I was humbled... even when it lasted only 10 min. When I did my first load of laundry... I was so thankful...even though one load for that week was my limit. I craved to do the dishes. I craved to lay my child in her crib without help. Suddenly so many things mattered. So many things that would have been burdens or potentially annoyances were dear to my heart. God had changed my heart and my look on daily life. Soon the fear subsided and peace abounded.

"Thy loving kindness, O LORD, extends to the heavens, thy faithfulness reaches to the skies." Psalm 36:5 (NASB)

It wasn't perfect. The pain would grow and the fear would pop up again. But something had stuck through the whole surgery and post-op time... the true knowledge that GOD WAS THERE! My God was a big God... a God I could see working... a God who was faithful. God had become more real to me than ever before. When the fear came or the doubts rose, I could look back at that time in my life and KNOW with certainty that... "...He will never leave you nor forsake you (me)." Deuteronomy 31:6b (NIV)

Deuteronomy 31:6 (MSG)

He created me. My 80 year old body is a result of this fallen world marred by sin, but it is the body He gave me.  He created me to give Him glory. He asks me to walk through trials (floods or fire or back pain) but I am not alone. He is with me. He is my Savior and I can trust Him completely... and SO CAN YOU!

"But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. ² When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. ³ For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; ... ⁵ Do not be afraid, for I am with you; ... ⁷ everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.” Isaiah 43:1-3, 5a, 7 (NIV)

Isaiah 43: 1c

My Journey to 80: Answered Prayer

This is Part 3 of my series "My Journey to 80".
Read Part 1: The Beginning.
Read Part 2: After Pregnancy.

pre-surgery

I hope you haven't been too overwhelmed or feel a sense of hopelessness from reading parts 1 & 2 of my story. This is definitely where God shows His power and provision in my story...as I headed to the ER.

I wish I could recall ALL of the ways God provided answers to prayers during 10 months of pregnancy, 7 months of leg pain and then almost 3 weeks of pain after the delivery of my baby girl...but time has deleted some of them from my memory. I do, however, remember several that really stick out to me.

I praise God for my next door neighbor. Thanks Norma! She had walked a similar road of back pain. She helped me walk to the car to get my spinal injection and held my hand as fear and faith battled through the pain. She was there to bring dinner and watch my little one when we needed to go to tons of appointments before and after surgery.

I praise God for my nurse friend who worked at the ER, brought dinner, had her husband mow the lawn for my husband, held my hand as I screamed, talked about my pain meds with me, prayed with me, met the ambulance, came with me to the hospital and handpicked my ER doctor for me. Thank you Sylvia!

I praise God that my best friend was in town. She rocked and fed my baby girl. She was Mom for that entire week of pain. She also sacrificed sleep to pray with me and gave me massages to relieve any pain that she could. She read me scripture and sang worship songs to me too! I will never forget crying out to God with her.  Thanks Abby! You're the best!

Abby and my teeny baby girl

 
Life could not have gone on without my Mom and my Mother-in-law. They kept my family going. They made tons of meals, cleaned, changed diapers, were another set of Moms for my baby when I couldn't even hold her, and they supported my husband when he needed sooo much help! They are the greatest women in my life! Thank you God for both of them!

I praise God that I had a teeny baby girl. Those early days were so difficult to not hold my baby girl and take care of her. God planned her size according to my ability. We can always trust His plans!

I praise God that He arranged the right doctor to be in the ER. Dr. Yeager called two neurosurgeons until one would admit me and get me into surgery. The first one he called wanted to send me home! Not to mention that I knew his family because his daughter was in the other first grade class. It was such a blessing to see a familiar face who wanted to help me!

I praise God that after making my trip to the ER, within 30 min. I finally had relief from my pain. Dilated, I never knew your name before, but thank you that you exist! Thank you Lord that the neurosurgeon had an opening for surgery Monday evening. Within 3 hours I met a nurse practitioner from his practice was giving me surgery options! I had a severe herniation in my L5-S1 and a smaller one in L4. Some people wait months to years for back surgery! I was getting a microdiscectomy the next day!

Lastly, I praise God for my husband. He protected, provided, supported, encouraged, and calmed me down. He took care of all the details. I remember him waiting in person for my written scripts and facing the nurse so I could get them as soon as possible. He worked from home so I had him near me if I needed him. He took care of our newborn at all hours of the night. He took me to every doctors appointment. He held my hand every moment I needed him. He was my everything when everything meant sooo much.

my amazing man and my sweet baby girl

I know I am missing many who helped me and kept us going when life was hard. I am thankful for how God used you all during the darkest hours of my life. The hours may have been painful, but the Light of the World was working it out and shining through all of you.

"You are the light of the world--like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden." Matthew 5:14 (NLT)

God could not be hidden. Those who walked the path with me could see and feel God at work. Surgery came, but God wasn't done working!

My Journey to 80: After Pregnancy

Read The Beginning of my chronic back pain story here.

Just one day shy of my original due date, I was being induced. The leg pain had gotten so bad that I couldn't take it any longer. There was no thought of going natural at this point. My leg would not let me stand at all, so an epidural was the only solution. I was in heaven! No more leg pain. In a few hours I was holding my precious baby girl. She weighed a mere 5 lbs. 14 oz. I would later realize that her petite size was all a part of God's plan for me.

This was my baby girl. Her tiny little self in her very large looking car seat!

If only that was the happy ending to my story.

The day I delivered, I remained in bed. The thought of walking was just too painful. The following day, I could only walk with help. My feet dragged against the floor. The task of a shower was frightening. My husband was my strength and my support.

On top of my own physical battle, my little girl spiked a fever and ended up in NICU for 48 hrs. The walk to the NICU was so difficult emotionally and physically...not to mention nursing was a nightmare. Looking back it seems impossible that I even made it through...or my husband for that matter. But God continued to be our stronghold.

This is my darling little girl. The thing on her head was her IV. Spinal tap came back clean and so did all of the blood work. We were so thankful it was only 48 hours and that we could take her home!

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful." John 14:27 (NASB)

The orthopedic doctor was called in while we were in the hospital. He gave us hope that I would heal and get back to myself after a few weeks. In a week I would go in for some physical therapy to help with the severe weakness in my legs and of course the leg pain.

Physical therapy would give me some hope. The first therapist went and got another one for a second opinion. Apparently I was out of her league. I started very slow. Nursing would not let me rest long enough to get well enough. Looking back I would have switched right to formula, but remember that strong will I mentioned?!?!?! I did stretches and made some progress.

Just after Leona turned 3 weeks, I quickly spiraled out of control. Monday I had an MRI which through my back into a fit. By that night I could only lay down on my stomach and was in a lot of pain. Tuesday I was calling for stronger narcotics. By Wednesday I was screaming every 4 hours as my pain meds wore off.

My best friend had arrived in town to celebrate my baby girl's arrival only to hold my hand as I cried out in pain. I recall calling out to God with her to give me the strength to endure one more minute. When that minute had come, we prayed for the next.

I was brought in early Thursday morning for a spinal injection after the Morphine and Percocet rounds were starting not to help.

The fear was fighting my faith. Every time the increase of pain began, I was overwhelmed with fear of the pain that would soon build. The spinal injection affects lasted about 20 min.  When I got to the car, I was popping more meds. So much for that helping.

I was definitely being humbled. An ER nurse friend of mine had to wash me from the bed. I couldn't get a shirt on, even with help. I couldn't get up to go to the bathroom. I couldn't feed my daughter. Nursing was impossible... when you can't even get off of your stomach...well you can imagine. All I could do was lay face down into my mattress... scream...cry...and pray.

By Sunday morning I had a UTI, stiff neck, throbbing knees and such unbearable pain in my leg that we called an ambulance. The turn in our hallway was so tight that they actually took me out the bedroom window on a stretcher. The men lowered me into the back of a pick-up truck to drive me around to the ambulance.

All I could do was trust that someone would help me and not just send me home with more pills. I needed an answer. I needed a fix.
 I needed to pray more than ever!

"Let us therefore come BOLDLY to the throne of grace, that we may find mercy and grace in time of need." Hebrews 4:16 (KJV)

My Journey to 80: The Beginning

So far on my blog I have been pretty closed lipped about my physical health. After sharing my journey with a fellow college friend, a godly woman and another chronic back pain sufferer, I decided that it was time to share my story.

"How are you feeling?"

"It's an 80 day!"

This is a common text that I share with two of my close friends on days when I feel like I am trapped in my 80 year old body. I skipped right past being in my late 20's to being 80! At my best, I probably feel like I am in my mid-40's; you know those years where everything begins to hurt and ache. Honestly those days I praise God that I can be up and about with my kids...enjoying sweet moments with them and not laying flat on my stomach writhing in pain.

Well I am skipping ahead of myself. Let's get back to the beginning of my story.

It was Monday, Oct. 13, 2008. Columbus Day. I was getting ready for school at the terrible hour of 5:30AM...I don't miss those early teacher mornings...when I couldn't get motivated. My stomach was so nauseous. Suddenly the suspense was killing me. It had been 2 1/2 years of waiting...could it really be happening? Yep! The two lines proved it! In June, we'd be expecting our first little one!

Nothing could have prepared me for what the next 10 months would hold. At the beginning of December, my back began to hurt... similar to what it felt like back in college after I had fallen on the gym floor on my tail bone and spent 2 weeks recouping.

I went to the chiropractor, the only thing that helped back then, and 2 weeks later I was back to feeling better.

At the end of January, we had an ultrasound. That evening suddenly there was a terrible pain down into my left leg. The chiro couldn't take any x-rays due to the pregnancy, so it was all guess work. I thought it would just go away, but several weeks later I was headed to the hospital to make sure there wasn't a clot in my leg. After I was cleared from that, I was given some Tylenol with codeine for the pain. Hating to take even an Advil for a headache on a normal day, I tried not to take any of the Tylenol because now that I was pregnant, I didn't want anything going in that had codeine in it!

The pain continued until I ended up visiting the chiro repeatedly. Most of those days I just ended up in the same pain and sometimes even worse. I had started walking so crooked. It was like my left leg grew over night and my hip was like 6-8" higher on one side. I ended up putting a lift in my right shoe to try to fix the problem.


When the chiro visits stopped helping, I resorted to acupuncture and massage therapy. Massage helped a little. Acupuncture reduced my pain. By now I was popping the Tylenol to try to endure the rest of the school year.

Many people ask how I did it. Honestly, it was many called off days. My teaching partner was amazing and helped when I needed to lay down multiple times in the nurse's office. My first grade class was amazing too. They often walked to specials classes with me watching from down the hallway. My computer was also propped up so I could stand to teach, type and check my email. When I wasn't teaching, I was resting at home.

But my full and complete answer to this question is...IT WAS ALL GOD!  God provided the people that helped me. He also has built in me such a strong will that I stubbornly pushed on. Who wants to hear the woes of a first time pregnant lady, anyways? Above all He gave me the strength to face one day at a time.

"God is our refuge and strength, 
A very present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1 (NASB)

The nights were the worst. About 1AM, I'd wake up and lay there until I couldn't refrain from using the bathroom anymore. I'd slowly get up to only get unbearable pain in my leg, hobble to the bathroom, try to bend down as far as I could and then scream in pain for the next hour until the pain made me pass out.

Towards the end of the school year, a sub was in my class more than I was. In the mornings I could barely walk and the pain was excruciating for about 30-60 min. Then it would taper off. I still walked slowly, but it was at least bearable.

This is 37 weeks. The last week of school. You can see how crooked I was standing.

I couldn't wait until my little one came out and got off of my sciatic nerve, or so several OBGYNs in my practice thought. The last three weeks I was finally out of school. I rested a lot, but my pain in the mornings was getting worse. By the last week, the pain would last about 3 hours and then it wasn't stopping.

I ended up at the orthopedic doctor by wheelchair and was miserable. Finally he talked some sense into my OBGYN to induce me. I was finally going to have some relief and my pretty baby girl in my arms. It felt so freeing. Unfortunately nothing could have prepared me for the next 4 weeks.

My Journey Continues...

Today was the day for answers---or at least it was supposed to be.

I met with my neurosurgeon this morning to go over my MRI & X-ray results & make a plan from here.  I am going to attempt to explain this as easily as possible, but know that I haven't fully processed & researched some of this...so here it goes...

My disc herniation story 

My L5/S1 has healed significantly since Dec 2009.  YAY!  As the dr. had stated before, my pain is MOST LIKELY (common words for today) not from herniations.  Both my L4 & L5 herniations are small.  He felt they were more mechanical when I met with him 2 weeks ago, thus why I got my X-rays of my mid-back.

My X-ray story 

My X-rays did show slight scolosis, but this is MOST LIKELY not the cause for my pain.

"Who among the gods is like you, LORD? Who is like you— majestic in holiness, awesome in glory, working wonders?" Exodus 15:11


 

More of my disc story 

My discs are dehydrated, making them "trouble makers" (as he called them).  Dehydration is as common as crows feet & wrinkles.  It is how your body ages; however, mine are a little more degenerative that most ppl my age.  They have no findings of why some ppl have a faster or slower degeneration of their discs & why some ppl have pain associated with it & others don't.  He said some ppl have "ugly" MRI's & have no pain & vice-versa.

 

There is a possibility that the vertebral facets are causing the pain in my back too.  Basically he said that the bones could be rubbing more instead of the soft cartilidge allowing smooth movement.  So basically this would be arthritis. 

What about surgery?

It is possible that a fusion surgery would be in my future; however, he has a more reserved approach to surgery. He said that if I was older, this would probably be more of an option.  He said that there would be future risk of getting more surgeries done. The fusion puts pressure on the upper discs & then eventually causes them to degenerate.

He also talked about putting in an artifical disc.  He basically compared it to getting a hip replacement. After about 10-20 years they need replaced.  He said that studies show about the same success rates (compared to a fusion). 

Next Step?

He did order an epidural block (steriod injection) for my 2 discs & around the facets as well.  I will be making an appointment with my OSMC dr. for that soon.  I have to tell you that I dread it though.  They are so painful & so far have not worked for me.  I will have a couple down days afterwards, most likely.

What A Pain!

So...some GOOD news...but the realization that I have to learn to deal with this pain coming in & out of my life I am sure is going to hit me over the next day or so.  I am more concerned about how my family will function with this, especially Ben, when I have these times that I am down & out!  He really picks up a lot of the pieces, literally & figuratively :)

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands." Psalm 19:1

We have a lot of praying to do, especially about me taking on any more pregnancies.  The dr. did say that they can't know for certain what it would look like, but that some pain meds & the injections could be given during pregnancy.  I'll be making an appt. with  my OBGYN for my yearly appt & going over some more of my questions with her.

We appreciate all of you that have been praying & encouraging us.  My Dad said something last night as encouragement to me...have faith in the doctors, that they know what they are doing.  I am truly thankful for the dr's that have come alongside me during this process, but I am also looking to the Great Physican for His strength.  I know that only He has the "play calls" book!  He has His plan for my life.  Lord just give us wisdom!

"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

My prayer lately is related to the idea of Cat & Dog Theology.  My friend Ann reminded me a few weeks ago that we so often think of God as the personal God who is there for me. 

"Ok God...I have a problem today...my back hurts...heal me....help me to feel better....let me just come to you with my grocery list of problems." 

Ann brought me back to the idea of Dog Theology instead.  I must instead think God is a personal God that I must live for & bring glory to with how I live my life. 

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." I Corinthians 10:31

"Ok God...I am strugglig today...my back hurts...give me the strength to endure my back pain... heal me... help me to glorify you through my circumstances...help me to point others to You...because you are the Almighty God who is worthy of my praise.

"Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26

Pain in my BACK!

Well, my back has been progressing since I wrote last.  It started hurting in my mid-back meaning that my muscles are now starting to compensate for the lower back.  This means that my back is very sensitive right now.  I took 5-6 days of complete rest.  Ben took care of the house & I chose only a few things to do each day which typically meant a bath for Leona or basics to get through the day until Ben got home from work. It really helps that he comes home for lunch!

I scheduled a dr's appt with my orthopedic dr. last Thursday.  He basically said that he could no longer prescribe steriods b/c it wasn't good for my body.  He basically said that the 2 options were trying another steriod injection or talk to my surgeon about surgery.  He seemed to suggest the later option more b/c my body has not responded to the injections the past 2 times.  In fact, the last one made me worse.  We will see what this other doctor suggests.

At this point, I know that there are 2 possible surgeries that he could suggest.  The first is a microdiscectomy. Basically the herniated portion of the disc is cut-off to relieve the pressure from the nerve, giving more room for the disc to heal.  This is the same surgery I had in July 2009.  Of course I was in the 5% of people who have a recurrant herniation after surgery. Since I have reherniated after surgery, I run a 20% risk that it will reherniate again.

The second type is called a spinal fusion. This involves adding bone graft to the area allowing the 2 vertebrate to fuse & grow together.  I know that hardware is inserted to the area to keep the vertebrate from moving so that the bone graft can form. This fusion keeps the disc from moving. I don't know if they would have to take bone from another area of my body or would use a synthetic material.  This is obviously a more serious surgery & has more risks.  It would require several days in the hospital & probably some sort of rehabilitation.

Please pray for wisdom.  We are hoping there are some other suggestions that the dr. will suggest.  If he does suggest surgery, we will probably have a 2nd opinion before completely pursuing the idea. 

Amazingly both of us are handling the idea of surgery pretty well at this point.  There are obvious risks & outcomes of this---finances, time, health, etc. but the joy of having a chance for a pain-free life & the ability to have more kids is outweighing that right now.

If anyone reading this has any fusion surgery experience, please leave a comment :)
I will update this after next Friday morning to let you know what the dr. says.