My Journey to 80: He is There!

This is Part 4 of my series "My Journey to 80".
Read Part 1: The Beginning.
Read Part 2: After Pregnancy.
Read Part 3: Answered Prayer.

Corrie Ten Boom quote... such truth!

Surgery came.

You expect that when you go in for surgery that you will come out all fixed and feeling better. You know there will be healing time, but you expect to... well... heal.


I followed directions. I stayed mobile as best as I could. Some days I barely made it one trip around the kitchen table, but I eventually grew stronger. I didn't lift anything heavy for 8-10 weeks. It was hard, mind you that I had a four week old baby that needed fed and comforted. Still, I was very careful. The pain was never completely gone from my leg. There were a couple of times that I laid in fear wondering about the pain and why it was still there!! I remember eventually admitting to Ben that it just didn't feel fixed. I was terrified when I thought that the pain could come back again.

"I sought the LORD and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears." Psalm 34:4 (NASB) 

The doctor said it would just take time. In fact at my post-op appointment he basically scolded me for not having enough activity. What was I suppose to do? Push myself? It still hurt! Why did it still hurt? Oh...the fear...fear of the pain returning!

Time came and went. I went to physical therapy again! I made some progress, but I still had some pain. A new MRI was scheduled for December 2009.

The news??? My two disc herniations were just about the same size. Really?!?!?! A microdiscectomy and doing almost nothing...not even a load of laundry and another herniation in the same spot!!!

Devastation... shock... fear... How can this be?

I did some research and discovered that it was quite common.

They ordered another epidural shot. I hoped it would help more than last time. It actually hurt more for the few days after my shot. The epidural is a steroid shot, so I finally asked if I could just try an oral steroid pack. I wasn't going back for another shot after that. Plus, the shot was like $2,000!! 75 cents later...my steroids kicked in and I started to feel better. I was so relieved.

I will be honest. The fear was stronger than my faith at times. I wondered how I could carry another pregnancy... how I could ever work again... how I could take care of my family when I still couldn't fill the dishwasher or do a load of laundry or even put my baby in her crib.

I found new ways to do things. A new normal emerged. I started to live my life thankful for the blessings God had given me. I couldn't take anything for granted. When I sat Indian-style on the ground for the first time in over 2 years... I was humbled... even when it lasted only 10 min. When I did my first load of laundry... I was so thankful...even though one load for that week was my limit. I craved to do the dishes. I craved to lay my child in her crib without help. Suddenly so many things mattered. So many things that would have been burdens or potentially annoyances were dear to my heart. God had changed my heart and my look on daily life. Soon the fear subsided and peace abounded.

"Thy loving kindness, O LORD, extends to the heavens, thy faithfulness reaches to the skies." Psalm 36:5 (NASB)

It wasn't perfect. The pain would grow and the fear would pop up again. But something had stuck through the whole surgery and post-op time... the true knowledge that GOD WAS THERE! My God was a big God... a God I could see working... a God who was faithful. God had become more real to me than ever before. When the fear came or the doubts rose, I could look back at that time in my life and KNOW with certainty that... "...He will never leave you nor forsake you (me)." Deuteronomy 31:6b (NIV)

Deuteronomy 31:6 (MSG)

He created me. My 80 year old body is a result of this fallen world marred by sin, but it is the body He gave me.  He created me to give Him glory. He asks me to walk through trials (floods or fire or back pain) but I am not alone. He is with me. He is my Savior and I can trust Him completely... and SO CAN YOU!

"But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. ² When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. ³ For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; ... ⁵ Do not be afraid, for I am with you; ... ⁷ everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.” Isaiah 43:1-3, 5a, 7 (NIV)

Isaiah 43: 1c

Making Memories during Christmas

Christmas...it's such a blessed time of year!

Last year during Christmas time, LJ was 2 years old. Suddenly Christmas started to have meaning. She realized that there were gifts to open and special songs to sing. Of course the word Christmas was a little blurred. Every time she saw a picture of Santa Claus, she called him "Christmas". I found this very odd as we don't emphasize Santa.

Sooo...this year I was on a mission. I wanted to share the true meaning of Christmas...the babe in the manger that came that very first Christmas day.

We started by memorizing Matthew 1:21 together as a family. I love this verse because it emphasizes not only was Jesus born, but that He came to save us from our sins. This was the perfect verse to use with a 3 1/2 year old!

On December 1, we started Advent. The word advent means arrival. It's emphasis is on preparing our hearts for when Jesus comes back again. For the Advent season, from 1st-24th, we focused on the story of Jesus. Each day we read a passage and focused on one part of the Christmas story. We used a fantastic curriculum called Truth in the Tinsel.

We loved it! It was perfectly geared for preschoolers. We will be using it in coming years for sure! We did some crafts and sang some Christmas carols together, too. Every Sunday we also had a time where we lit a candle and were reminded of some simple truths: hope, peace, joy, love and Christ.

A larger version I used in Chapel.

I designed and made some felt pieces for our Advent lessons. I am still working on finishing the Advent calendar part. My inspiration came from a stained glass type look. I can't wait to finish the background and use it next year.

Here is the template I designed. Click here if you'd like a copy.

LJ loved learning the true story of Christmas! It was so neat to hear her talk about baby John, Mary and baby Jesus. In fact, after our first lesson about Jesus being the light of the world, she kept running to the door and saying "Jesus is here!" Every noise outside must mean that Jesus is here! It was so precious to my heart! What a reminder that He could come at any time...that we should be awaiting his arrival!

A friend of mine also wrote some lyrics to the ever famous "Jingle Bells". We sang it in Chapel and I couldn't stop singing it! Our family has enjoyed singing every night of Advent. It was such a blessing to hear such truth being sung around the table! Thanks Karin!

Lastly, we started a tradition of giving a family gift Christmas Eve and matching pajamas for the kids. We bought the book Song of the Stars by Sally Llyod-Jones! What a beautiful book about the coming of Jesus as the babe in the manger! It is wonderfully written. All of the animals echo that "it is time" and use the different names of Jesus!

We hope you all had a wonderful Christmas season!

Stromboli or Calzone??

So what's the difference between a calzone and a stromboli? It seems that they are used interchangeably. Maybe the only difference is that calzones are folded in half where strombolis are rolled.

Well... according to Man vs. Food the difference is calzones are filled with cheese. I can't find any confirmation on what really makes them different. I always thought that calzones had sauce inside, but I am finding that some stromboli recipes do too.

Well...I've always called my recipe Stromboli...so here it is...meat, cheese and toppings rolled in pizza dough. Yum!

Take a look at the bottom of this post for freezing directions too! It's a great meal that you pop out of your freezer.

Here are the ingredients! Yummy!

Rachie's Stromboli
-pizza dough (2 crust recipe or  2-16 oz. refrigerated packages)
-1/4 lb. deli salami, thinly sliced
-1/4 lb. deli sandwich pepperoni, thinly sliced
-1/4 lb. deli Virginia ham, thinly sliced
-Parmesan cheese
-Mozzarella cheese, shredded (fresh has the best flavor)
-1 small onion, minced
-1 green pepper, minced
-1 package fresh mushrooms, diced or sliced
-pizza seasoning (my recipe below)

Roll out the dough onto a a floured surface or a plastic pie sheet. Cut into two equal rectangles.

Put an overlapping layer of salami down the middle. Follow up with an overlapping of the sandwich pepperoni.

(Sandwich pepperoni is so much easier to work with and so yummy. You can substitute little slices if that's all you have to work with.)

 Cover the pepperoni with a little layer of mozzarella. Be careful not to add too much or it will come spilling out while it's cooking!

Sprinkle some pizza seasoning on top.

This is where you put in your toppings. You can use really any pizza toppings you like. I love mushrooms, onions and green peppers with mine. You can even skip the toppings altogether if you aren't a veggie fan.

Next, top with some Parmesan cheese. Mmm!

Now comes the secret! Add the deli ham on top of everything. This will secure your cheeses and toppings inside your stromboli.

Now gather your long sides together. I kind of roll and pinch them together. Then, roll in the small ends. I normally find some extra dough at the end and I pull it up towards each other to cover any holes in the dough.

Right now you are looking at what is called the steam side. It is the part where your steam can escape. This side will be face down on your ungreased cookie sheet or stone. I prefer a stone for my pizzas and strombolis.

Top each stromboli with a spray of cooking spray or a light coat of melted butter for a great golden crust.

Here are two ready for the oven. Notice that I have not cut any holes in the dough. Some recipes I have read suggest cutting slits for the steam to escape. This has just left lots of oozing cheeses, so I don't bother.

I normally bake them at 425' for 20-25 min., but you can follow your pizza crust directions to make sure. You will know they are done when they are golden brown.

Serve the stromboli in thinly cut pieces and dip in your favorite sauce or dip. We love this Cheesy Pizza Fondue or dipping it in some melted butter with garlic butter.

Pizza Seasoning
2 1/2 T paprika
2 T salt
2 T garlic powder
1 T black pepper
1 T onion powder
1 T oregano*
1 T thyme*
1/2-1 T cayenne pepper or crushed red pepper

-Combine thoroughly. Store in airtight container.

*can substitute the oregano and thyme with 2 T Italian Seasoning


Each recipe makes about 4 strombolis depending on your pizza dough recipe, which would serve 4-6 people.

This recipe is a perfect freezer recipe. Follow the directions until they are all rolled up. Wrap in plastic wrap. Then, wrap in foil. Place in a freezer bag. Write cooking directions on the bag (temp, time and adding the butter or cooking spray). When you are ready to use them, pull what you need out and put right into the pre-heated oven. Add about 10 min. more cooking time than the original recipe.

Hope you enjoy this fast, easy and yummy recipe! It's a staple around here!!

My Journey to 80: Answered Prayer

This is Part 3 of my series "My Journey to 80".
Read Part 1: The Beginning.
Read Part 2: After Pregnancy.

pre-surgery

I hope you haven't been too overwhelmed or feel a sense of hopelessness from reading parts 1 & 2 of my story. This is definitely where God shows His power and provision in my story...as I headed to the ER.

I wish I could recall ALL of the ways God provided answers to prayers during 10 months of pregnancy, 7 months of leg pain and then almost 3 weeks of pain after the delivery of my baby girl...but time has deleted some of them from my memory. I do, however, remember several that really stick out to me.

I praise God for my next door neighbor. Thanks Norma! She had walked a similar road of back pain. She helped me walk to the car to get my spinal injection and held my hand as fear and faith battled through the pain. She was there to bring dinner and watch my little one when we needed to go to tons of appointments before and after surgery.

I praise God for my nurse friend who worked at the ER, brought dinner, had her husband mow the lawn for my husband, held my hand as I screamed, talked about my pain meds with me, prayed with me, met the ambulance, came with me to the hospital and handpicked my ER doctor for me. Thank you Sylvia!

I praise God that my best friend was in town. She rocked and fed my baby girl. She was Mom for that entire week of pain. She also sacrificed sleep to pray with me and gave me massages to relieve any pain that she could. She read me scripture and sang worship songs to me too! I will never forget crying out to God with her.  Thanks Abby! You're the best!

Abby and my teeny baby girl

 
Life could not have gone on without my Mom and my Mother-in-law. They kept my family going. They made tons of meals, cleaned, changed diapers, were another set of Moms for my baby when I couldn't even hold her, and they supported my husband when he needed sooo much help! They are the greatest women in my life! Thank you God for both of them!

I praise God that I had a teeny baby girl. Those early days were so difficult to not hold my baby girl and take care of her. God planned her size according to my ability. We can always trust His plans!

I praise God that He arranged the right doctor to be in the ER. Dr. Yeager called two neurosurgeons until one would admit me and get me into surgery. The first one he called wanted to send me home! Not to mention that I knew his family because his daughter was in the other first grade class. It was such a blessing to see a familiar face who wanted to help me!

I praise God that after making my trip to the ER, within 30 min. I finally had relief from my pain. Dilated, I never knew your name before, but thank you that you exist! Thank you Lord that the neurosurgeon had an opening for surgery Monday evening. Within 3 hours I met a nurse practitioner from his practice was giving me surgery options! I had a severe herniation in my L5-S1 and a smaller one in L4. Some people wait months to years for back surgery! I was getting a microdiscectomy the next day!

Lastly, I praise God for my husband. He protected, provided, supported, encouraged, and calmed me down. He took care of all the details. I remember him waiting in person for my written scripts and facing the nurse so I could get them as soon as possible. He worked from home so I had him near me if I needed him. He took care of our newborn at all hours of the night. He took me to every doctors appointment. He held my hand every moment I needed him. He was my everything when everything meant sooo much.

my amazing man and my sweet baby girl

I know I am missing many who helped me and kept us going when life was hard. I am thankful for how God used you all during the darkest hours of my life. The hours may have been painful, but the Light of the World was working it out and shining through all of you.

"You are the light of the world--like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden." Matthew 5:14 (NLT)

God could not be hidden. Those who walked the path with me could see and feel God at work. Surgery came, but God wasn't done working!

My Journey to 80: After Pregnancy

Read The Beginning of my chronic back pain story here.

Just one day shy of my original due date, I was being induced. The leg pain had gotten so bad that I couldn't take it any longer. There was no thought of going natural at this point. My leg would not let me stand at all, so an epidural was the only solution. I was in heaven! No more leg pain. In a few hours I was holding my precious baby girl. She weighed a mere 5 lbs. 14 oz. I would later realize that her petite size was all a part of God's plan for me.

This was my baby girl. Her tiny little self in her very large looking car seat!

If only that was the happy ending to my story.

The day I delivered, I remained in bed. The thought of walking was just too painful. The following day, I could only walk with help. My feet dragged against the floor. The task of a shower was frightening. My husband was my strength and my support.

On top of my own physical battle, my little girl spiked a fever and ended up in NICU for 48 hrs. The walk to the NICU was so difficult emotionally and physically...not to mention nursing was a nightmare. Looking back it seems impossible that I even made it through...or my husband for that matter. But God continued to be our stronghold.

This is my darling little girl. The thing on her head was her IV. Spinal tap came back clean and so did all of the blood work. We were so thankful it was only 48 hours and that we could take her home!

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful." John 14:27 (NASB)

The orthopedic doctor was called in while we were in the hospital. He gave us hope that I would heal and get back to myself after a few weeks. In a week I would go in for some physical therapy to help with the severe weakness in my legs and of course the leg pain.

Physical therapy would give me some hope. The first therapist went and got another one for a second opinion. Apparently I was out of her league. I started very slow. Nursing would not let me rest long enough to get well enough. Looking back I would have switched right to formula, but remember that strong will I mentioned?!?!?! I did stretches and made some progress.

Just after Leona turned 3 weeks, I quickly spiraled out of control. Monday I had an MRI which through my back into a fit. By that night I could only lay down on my stomach and was in a lot of pain. Tuesday I was calling for stronger narcotics. By Wednesday I was screaming every 4 hours as my pain meds wore off.

My best friend had arrived in town to celebrate my baby girl's arrival only to hold my hand as I cried out in pain. I recall calling out to God with her to give me the strength to endure one more minute. When that minute had come, we prayed for the next.

I was brought in early Thursday morning for a spinal injection after the Morphine and Percocet rounds were starting not to help.

The fear was fighting my faith. Every time the increase of pain began, I was overwhelmed with fear of the pain that would soon build. The spinal injection affects lasted about 20 min.  When I got to the car, I was popping more meds. So much for that helping.

I was definitely being humbled. An ER nurse friend of mine had to wash me from the bed. I couldn't get a shirt on, even with help. I couldn't get up to go to the bathroom. I couldn't feed my daughter. Nursing was impossible... when you can't even get off of your stomach...well you can imagine. All I could do was lay face down into my mattress... scream...cry...and pray.

By Sunday morning I had a UTI, stiff neck, throbbing knees and such unbearable pain in my leg that we called an ambulance. The turn in our hallway was so tight that they actually took me out the bedroom window on a stretcher. The men lowered me into the back of a pick-up truck to drive me around to the ambulance.

All I could do was trust that someone would help me and not just send me home with more pills. I needed an answer. I needed a fix.
 I needed to pray more than ever!

"Let us therefore come BOLDLY to the throne of grace, that we may find mercy and grace in time of need." Hebrews 4:16 (KJV)

My Journey to 80: The Beginning

So far on my blog I have been pretty closed lipped about my physical health. After sharing my journey with a fellow college friend, a godly woman and another chronic back pain sufferer, I decided that it was time to share my story.

"How are you feeling?"

"It's an 80 day!"

This is a common text that I share with two of my close friends on days when I feel like I am trapped in my 80 year old body. I skipped right past being in my late 20's to being 80! At my best, I probably feel like I am in my mid-40's; you know those years where everything begins to hurt and ache. Honestly those days I praise God that I can be up and about with my kids...enjoying sweet moments with them and not laying flat on my stomach writhing in pain.

Well I am skipping ahead of myself. Let's get back to the beginning of my story.

It was Monday, Oct. 13, 2008. Columbus Day. I was getting ready for school at the terrible hour of 5:30AM...I don't miss those early teacher mornings...when I couldn't get motivated. My stomach was so nauseous. Suddenly the suspense was killing me. It had been 2 1/2 years of waiting...could it really be happening? Yep! The two lines proved it! In June, we'd be expecting our first little one!

Nothing could have prepared me for what the next 10 months would hold. At the beginning of December, my back began to hurt... similar to what it felt like back in college after I had fallen on the gym floor on my tail bone and spent 2 weeks recouping.

I went to the chiropractor, the only thing that helped back then, and 2 weeks later I was back to feeling better.

At the end of January, we had an ultrasound. That evening suddenly there was a terrible pain down into my left leg. The chiro couldn't take any x-rays due to the pregnancy, so it was all guess work. I thought it would just go away, but several weeks later I was headed to the hospital to make sure there wasn't a clot in my leg. After I was cleared from that, I was given some Tylenol with codeine for the pain. Hating to take even an Advil for a headache on a normal day, I tried not to take any of the Tylenol because now that I was pregnant, I didn't want anything going in that had codeine in it!

The pain continued until I ended up visiting the chiro repeatedly. Most of those days I just ended up in the same pain and sometimes even worse. I had started walking so crooked. It was like my left leg grew over night and my hip was like 6-8" higher on one side. I ended up putting a lift in my right shoe to try to fix the problem.


When the chiro visits stopped helping, I resorted to acupuncture and massage therapy. Massage helped a little. Acupuncture reduced my pain. By now I was popping the Tylenol to try to endure the rest of the school year.

Many people ask how I did it. Honestly, it was many called off days. My teaching partner was amazing and helped when I needed to lay down multiple times in the nurse's office. My first grade class was amazing too. They often walked to specials classes with me watching from down the hallway. My computer was also propped up so I could stand to teach, type and check my email. When I wasn't teaching, I was resting at home.

But my full and complete answer to this question is...IT WAS ALL GOD!  God provided the people that helped me. He also has built in me such a strong will that I stubbornly pushed on. Who wants to hear the woes of a first time pregnant lady, anyways? Above all He gave me the strength to face one day at a time.

"God is our refuge and strength, 
A very present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1 (NASB)

The nights were the worst. About 1AM, I'd wake up and lay there until I couldn't refrain from using the bathroom anymore. I'd slowly get up to only get unbearable pain in my leg, hobble to the bathroom, try to bend down as far as I could and then scream in pain for the next hour until the pain made me pass out.

Towards the end of the school year, a sub was in my class more than I was. In the mornings I could barely walk and the pain was excruciating for about 30-60 min. Then it would taper off. I still walked slowly, but it was at least bearable.

This is 37 weeks. The last week of school. You can see how crooked I was standing.

I couldn't wait until my little one came out and got off of my sciatic nerve, or so several OBGYNs in my practice thought. The last three weeks I was finally out of school. I rested a lot, but my pain in the mornings was getting worse. By the last week, the pain would last about 3 hours and then it wasn't stopping.

I ended up at the orthopedic doctor by wheelchair and was miserable. Finally he talked some sense into my OBGYN to induce me. I was finally going to have some relief and my pretty baby girl in my arms. It felt so freeing. Unfortunately nothing could have prepared me for the next 4 weeks.

Our Family Prayer Sticks

Don't you just love Pinterest? I mean I just love seeing other people's ideas. It's so inspiring. When I saw this on Melissa's Projects...I knew this was a project for our family.

Prayer Sticks

 

 

I am so thankful for my years of teaching. The first thing God impressed upon me is how sweet and special a young child's prayer is. When I faced cluster migraines, my little kindergartners prayed daily for me. Their parents would tell me the sweetest stories that have remained with me to this day.

 

I have also been forever impacted by my first grade teaching partner, Miss Eger. She inspired me to teach children about a deep and consistent prayer life and how to encourage others.

 

Now that I have turned from "teacher" to "Mommy", I jumped on this idea. The computer design person in me jumped onto publisher... made some circles... stalked Facebook for pictures of family and friends... used the pictures as the filler for the circles...and WALLAH...

 

 

Then, I attached them to popsicle sticks. Do you see your face?

 

 

If you look closely, you will see our immediate family, extended family, friends, pastors, missionaries, politicians (our president, vp, first lady, congresswoman and the republician candidates for president and vp), and even our pediatrician. There are a couple of people who are missing due to lack of pictures, but I hope to add them soon.

 

 

It is sooo great to have these pictures for my kiddos since we live far away from family. Just in the few days of using them, LJ keeps pulling them out and guessing who everyone is. No more explaining who extended family is when we visit over the holidays!!

 

I added a little decoration to our watering can. I almost just put magnets on the backs of them and used them on our fridge, but I love how this can turned out!!

 

 

So how will we use our tin? On Mondays, we will pick 1 stick person to pray for each day that week. We will aslo send a special card to them for encouragement. I am going to take my print out and print it on a full sheet label...cut them out to make stickers ...to add to their card.

 

At dinner, each person at our table will pick a person to specifically pray for. At bed time, LJ will pick someone special to pray for. Already, she has loved praying for her second cousins Anna and Abby. Thinking ahead, I have a feeling that each of my kids will have a tin that they will put together for their night-time prayer time. They can include all of their friends and people they want in their tin. Maybe this will be where I use them as magnets??

I think this would have a great application to a small group or even youth group. Pick a Stick and pray for a friend! If I ever get into the classroom again...this would be a great way to pray for each other!

Here is another version without pictures from the blog Joy's Hope.
 

When we get our first encouragement card done, I will show you a picture of it. Maybe you'll be the first one to get it in the mail!!!