Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Rachael's Back Update

We know that many of you pray for us on a regular basis.  We ask that you pray for wisdom for our family.  We are really searching on what to do for my back.  We have scheduled another appt. with her orthopedic dr. to discuss more options to help. 

I went on more oral steriods after my back progressively got worse from July to October.  We tried 2 rounds.  I did regain some feeling in my leg as the numbness & pain had progressed down into my heel.  I try not to communicate or whine about my back, so sometimes those around me don't even know that I am suffering. If I did, I would be saying something like 90% of the time. I am really struggling with feeling alone & discouraged lately.I feel my disc is so unstable that I could face an emergency situation like 2009 so quickly.  Before my first surgery I had felt some relief all to head into a tailspin & surgery 7 days later.  Menstration & a harder bed are just some of the minor things that send my back into pain.

I have to grasp for the positive.  I am so thankful for some close friends that have prayed with me & encouraged me with scripture.  I have also been blessed by an older woman in our church who has opened up to me about her similiar back problems. A close friend & her husband have graciously allowed me to use their back machine on occasion to help stretch my spine. Knowing that many of you are praying is also a blessing. 

We have found some more information from a friend about her husband's back. There may be a different kind of injection that I can get.  Right now I am feeling that we need to pursue that or another type of surgery.  I think the biggest discouragement is thinking of future pregnancies.  I want to have more children but unless something drastic happens, I just don't see how we will be able to.  Here I am just a few weeks from 2 years of pain!  I have had about 4 months during that whole time with little to no pain.

I know Ben gets discouraged too.  So much has come out of my back problems & we still aren't finished dealing with it.  If anyone needs your prayers or hugs---it is definitely him. He has to deal with all of the implications---house work, financial decisions & provisions, emotional support & picking up any other pieces!

I have come to think that the one who suffers daily has an easier time than those around that person.  The others feel helpless in helping while the one who suffers reaches out to the only one that can give hope & peace---Christ.  I AM thankful for this experience.  It has helped me SEE & FEEL like others, like my SIL, who deal with a chronic disease.  It has also helped me SEE my Savior more clearly.  He is faithful to show me that HE IS working despite how dark my circumstances may seem at times. 

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being..." Eph 3:16

Thanks for listening!

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